| | A Confession
I've never been a good Christian. =(
Though I'm already baptized, I know that I've never been a good one.
I was just this "damsel in distress" who was eager to look for someone to hold on to.
I was lost, I must admit. I didn't know where to go. I didn't know what to do.
Iwas enjoying the things that I used to do, just going with the flow. Tobe honest though, I knew someone who could really help me. Maybe, I wasjust afraid that if I turn to Him, I was expected to do what he tells me to do. As if, it really is a must.(But, isn't it?) Then one unexpected day came and someone introduced meto Him. It wasn't that bad. In fact, everything went well. I attendedsome classes to fill up my knowledge about Him. I wanted to fulfill myknowledge of Him, but I wasn't the patient kind of a person. I didn'treally read the Holy Book, which I was supposed to read. I never reallylistened to His powerful words with all my heart. And because of that,I feel ashamed. I feel ashamed that although I accepted Him, I stillcan't be called a ‘good Christian.’
Camps' helped me to be near Him, helped me to talk to Him; helped me to change for Him. But, theproblem was, it only gave me a short span of time to do those things.After that, I was back to reality— to the real world; to the sinful game. I don't know how to end it and when it will end. And… how to shrug all the temptations off.
Then there was one dreadful daythat occurred again. I moved out to a new environment that’d changed me. Yes, talk about peer pressure. Although I know what I should reallydo, I still keep on doing what I used to do. Yes, I go to His place,but I know it's not enough.
Can you blame me why I am like this, again?
I cuss. I disobey Dad's rules and regulations. I ditch. I— I don't do what Christians are here for.
Iam just a girl. A damsel in distress. A girl, who once again, seeks forGod's presence and words. A girl, who once again, needs someone to helpher to be near with Him again. A girl, an ordinary girl, who sometimescouldn't resist temptations.
This is me.
But whatever you guys say, I love and trust God… and I mean it.
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| | Posted 1/10/2007 12:05 PM - 29 Views - 0 eProps - 0 comments
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